Ranking Glade Scents: What's the best?


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Foreword: For those of you who are not familiar with the world of Glade, I am sorry for you. Glade Air Fresheners are an inexpensive and fun way to make your house or apartment more interesting. Starting in the fall of 2017, my college freshman roommate and I started to collect Glade. At only $.97 per bottle, it was a fun activity we partcipated in every time we went to Walmart. While we continued our collection into the spring of 2019, we then moved to different apartments, and had to divide up our collection. To make this fair, we had a professional sports-style draft of all the flavors. (See image at the top of this page.)

Since then, we've both bought more Glade. While we mainly just use it for freshening up our apartments, we have also used the Glade for other projects. One such failed project was a scheme to make our own bad smelling scent and put it in a Glade bottle and gift it to someone. Unfortunately, this did not work. Also, we have played a game that involves blind smell tests and trying to guess which flavor was sprayed. As a 1 time champion of this game, I think I am qualified to call myself a Glade expert. All that being said, here are my rankings of each scent:


Superior ("S") Tier Glades

Clean Linen - This flavor was the number one pick in the 2019 Glade Draft, and it's a no brainer. Everyone loves the smell of fresh out of the dryer laundry - and who wouldn't want their home to smell like such? It makes the air feel cleaner to breathe, even though in reality it's probably doing the opposite. Classic scent, well deserving of the highest tier.

Lavender & Peach Blossom, Lavender & Vanilla and Tranquil Lavender & Aloe - even though these are three distinct scents, I'm grouping them together as they're all lavender based. Lavender is just one of those scents that's soothing and enjoyable. Mixing it with the Peach Blossom makes it a more fun smell, the vanilla makes it more comforting, while the Aloe achieves its namesake of increasing tranquility.

Enchanted Floral Gardens - This limited edition scent had a white flower on the front and somehow smells exactly like that flower smells in real life. Even though this isn't a particularly strong scent, it's super unique and yet good smelling, so that's why it's ending up in the S tier.

Citrus & Shine and Joyful Citrus & Daisies - These are two really good scents. I don't know how they make it smell like generic citrus (hints of orange, lemon, grapefruit even?) but it smells very clean and definitely succeeds in raising morale. The names really capture the feeling as these scents make you feel Joyful and make your room's air metaphorically shine.

Lemon Fresh - When life gives you lemons, invent an air freshener that smells just like it. People (e.g. me) will love it.

Stay Cool Watermelon - I have always loved the smell of watermelon. So it makes sense that when Glade comes out with a scent that smells just like it, that this is one of my favorite flavors of Glade.


A Tier Glades

Toasty Pumpkin Spice, Cozy Autumn Cuddle, and Pumpkin Spice Things Up - Despite these being essentially the same scent, I like them. They smell like pumpkin spice, as expected. And even though I myself am not a white girl, I do like the warming scents of nutmeg and other typical fall spices. Very unoffensive scents, yet bold enough to where people will notice and comment on them.

Crisp Waters and Aqua Waves - Two really good scents as well. They're supposed to smell like waters, but I don't really think that's the case. They do, however, smell very fresh in general. The vibes you end up getting from them do more associate with the color teal than with the idea of water, but still very good smells.

Apple Cinnamon and Cozy Cider Sipping - Really, these two flavors have the same usefulness and universal likeability as the pumpkin flavors. They're two comforting scents that may or may not have strong nostalgic feelings associated with them.


B Tier Glades

Volcanic Coconut Cove - This is a super unique scent. It's solid, but hard to describe. I think it's best use is for surprising people when they ask what that slightly good smell is.

Red Honeysuckle Nectar - This is a good scent. Not a great scent, but good. Very unremarkable but a personal favorite to spray for myself.

Blooming Peony & Cherry, Radiant Berries, Rose & Bloom, and Berry Pop - these scents are all different, but have the same vibes. If you like a inoffensive fruity smell to your home, I do recommend these, as they're low risk, medium reward flavors.

Exotic Tropical Blossoms - This is a lot like the Red Honeysuckle Nectar scent in that I view them exactly the same way. I couldn't even remember what this scent smelled like off the top of my head, but after spraying it realized it is a good smell.


C Tier Glades

Powder Fresh - This is the poor man's Clean Linen.

Sky & Sea Salt - This does a pretty good job of living up to its name. It smells like the ocean (and a good part of the ocean like the nice Gulf of Mexico rather than the gross Atlantic seaboard). However, I'm personally not a huge fan of the smell of the ocean, so that's why its ending up in the C tier.

Blue Odyssey - This smells like the color blue. But Glade clearly had to add the word "Odyssey" to the name as they couldn't just call it "Blue" (possibly because the band "Shinedown" already trademarked it?)

Hawaiian Breeze - It pains me to rank this scent so far down given that this was the very first Glade scent I bought/was the scent that a friend used to introduce me to the world of air fresheners. However, it's a pretty average scent. Some people will probably really love it, some will probably really hate it. I'm personally indifferent.

Sugarplum Fantasies, Nutcracker Delight, and Cashmere Woods - These scents, though different, I grouped together as they've got one thing in common: they're only super great during the month of December, as they're all distinctly Christmas smells. Some may argue that Cashmere Woods does not deserve to be in this category. In fact, most people would think that. Most people would be wrong.


D Tier Glades

Sultry Amber Rhythm, Amber Hills, Fall Night Long, and Warm Flannel Embrace - All of these flavors smell the same in essence with their amber undertones. There are some slight differences, where Sultry Amber Rhythm smells like how I imagine Billy Joel smells, while Warm Flannel Embrace smells like how I envision a lumberjack smells. While these are certainly unique flavors that I'm sure people who have a thing for middle aged mountain men (or old rich men) would enjoy, I'm not the biggest fan.

Sheer Vanilla Embrace - While this is a good smell, it smells like a generic girl's perfume. It's a good smell but personally too feminine for me to spray around my house.

Berry, Merry, & Bright - This was the scent I sprayed around my house before my girlfriend came over for the first time. In hindsight, that was not a great decision as this is not a great scent. Although it's got the same Christmasy smell as the other special edition flavors, I think it's slightly worse, and has way more potential to be disliked.


F Tier Glades

Enchanted Evergreens, Icy Everygreen Forest, and Pine Wonderland - As you maybe can tell from the names, all of these scents smell like pine needles. I guess the idea behind these is that if you spray these in your home, people will think they're in a forest, as they do indeed really smell like pine needles. Personally, I do not want where I live to smell like a pine forest - if I wanted that I would live in the woods or at least go camping more than every once in a few years.

Bamboo & Bliss and Bamboo Bliss Song - I didn't really know what bamboo smelled like before buying these, and now I feel like I don't have any desire to go smell bamboo in nature. These don't smell bad per se, but they don't really smell that good in my opinion. It's like you just sprayed slightly different water into the air. Glade should not have wasted the effort developing these flavors.

Bubble Berry Splash - I'm a big Berry guy in general. I eat lots of berries, drink lots of juice, have a friend named Barry Curtis, etc. However, this scent is butt. It just smells bad, there's no other way to describe it.

Acoustic Sage - Kind of smells like a mix between the amber and bamboo flavors, both of which I am not a big fan of.

Rankings

Flavors
S Tier Clean Linen, Lavender & Peach Blossom, Lavender & Vanilla, Tranquil Lavender & Aloe, Enchanted Floral Gardens, Citrus & Shine, Joyful Citrus & Daises, Lemon Fresh, Stay Cool Watermelon
A Tier Toasty Pumpkin Spice, Cozy Autumn Cuddle, Pumpkin Spice Things Up, Crisp Waters, Aqua Waves, Apple Cinnamon, Cozy Cider Sipping
B Tier Volcanic Coconut Cove, Red Honeysuckle Nectar, Blooming Peony & Cherry, Radiant Berries, Rose & Bloom, Berry Pop, Exotic Tropical Blossom
C Tier Powder Fresh, Sky & Sea Salt, Blue Odyssey, Hawaiian Breeze, Sugarplum Fantasies, Nutcracker Delight, Cashmere Woods
D Tier Sultry Amber Rhythm, Amber Hills, Fall Night Long, Warm Flannel Embrace, Sheer Vanilla Embrace, Berry Merry & Bright
F Tier Enchanted Evergreens, Icy Evergreen Forest, Pine Wonderland, Bamboo & Bliss, Bamboo Bliss Song, Bubble Berry Splash, Acoustic Sage